Organising the Christmas meal is one of the most important responsibilities when preparing for the big day. Cooking can be an incredibly fun and inventive way to express your festive creativity, such as with these great recipe ideas, but there are definitely those occasions where a small oversight can turn Christmas dinner into a fearsome feast… We’ve scoured the internet for some of the craziest Christmas culinary tales that show that sometimes when life gives you cracked eggs, it may be best to order take out.
Well-Seasoned Sickness
“Consider the size of your oven, and purchase a turkey large enough to feed your guests, but not so big and gangly, that you can’t cook it thoroughly! A few years back, 12 of my 14 guests got severe food poisoning after my feast. The two who didn’t get sick were vegetarians. Since then, I always buy a small turkey so I know I can cook it right, and supplement it with extra turkey breasts, which have the healthier white meat anyhow. Plus, I received three meat thermometers as hostess gifts the following year!” — Amy Kossoff Smith, MomTini Lounge
Extra Flavour
“I dropped the turkey after rubbing olive oil all over it. I rinsed it off, rubbed [the oil] on again, and cooked it. Didn’t tell anybody for 10 years… I just told them last year. Oh well, it didn’t kill anybody or make them sick!” —Debbie K., Jefferson, GA from RedBookMag
Hapless Ham
“My dear husband always cooks on the major holidays. He’s a fantastic cook, much better than moi…well, one Christmas Day, he pulled the ham out of the oven, and since I was entertaining the other guests, he asked neighbor Jim to help him by holding the serving plate while he placed the ham on it. Jim turned his head at the crucial moment and didn’t see the ham coming down onto the serving platter, so SPLAT! The ham slipped off the platter, onto the kitchen floor, then skidded across the floor into the family room…my husband and Jim were shouting and slipping across the floor in ham juice and glaze to reach the tasty porker before five cats and two very large dogs made it there first…hubby won the race, rescued the ham, wiped it off, washed it, and told everybody to drink more wine and everything would be all right!
Eager Elker
One Christmas, I was doing my usual baking for family and friends. I had made about 3 batches of cookies and had them in air-tight containers on the kitchen counter. I had to go run some quick errands and when I returned, our dog Elker had got every one of those containers off of the counter and had them on the floor. 2 of them were open and one of them was still closed. Luckily I got home when I did because Elker was trying to pry the 3rd lid off to get the rest of the cookies. Needless to say, I then had to take Elker in for a visit to the vet. He turned out to be alright other than the fact he could barely move he had ate so much and was so round. I decided to give up on my baking that year. It’s funny when I look back but I wasn’t too amused at the time! – TH, www.janeporter.com
How to remember Christmas all year round…
“One year my girlfriend and I were making Christmas cookies and one slid off the pan into the oven and caught on fire. We grabbed some tongs and got the cookie out. We threw it on the countertop and burned a big hole in the countertop! Why we didn’t throw it in the sink I will never know. We had to use the same countertop for several years after…the reminder was always there. My sister changed that countertop about two years ago.” – www.janeporter.com